When you stop being offended, they will stop hurting you. You will say: this does not happen. How can you not be offended when you hit the “live”? If you understand the origins of the origin of the offense, then there will be no need to be offended.
So, what is in us that does not allow us to forgive? To forgive means not to leave a residue in your soul, to continue to communicate freely with a person. Or, if you want, not to communicate at all, but at the same time not to remember him with a good word, that is, to be neutral.
They did not appreciate it the way we wanted it, or simply unfairly blamed it. But we know that they are not so bad. So we torment ourselves with thoughts and curses against the offender. We gnaw at our soul, assuring ourselves that we are right. Is it worth proving the obvious to yourself? I think everyone will agree that this is a useless exercise. Everyone already knows his own worth. Well, and to the one who condemned you, you can simply say: “I am sorry that you think so of me”, “I am sad that we did not understand each other”. And even more so don’t underestimate your self-esteem.
Try, discarding the sense of your own superiority, to take the side of your partner. Remember: a person’s strength is not in pride, but in his generosity. The abuser, as a rule, himself realizes that he has got excited.
Failure to accept facts about yourself
For example, they say to you: “You are late for work. You made a mistake. Are you in a bad mood. You eat a lot. You are fat. ” You get angry, not wanting to accept reality. Learn to say yes. The same “yes” applies to any reproaches in your direction. Do you think it will be interesting for the interlocutor to “sting” you and how long will it last when you agree with everything?
Often we expect from a person certain actions, deeds, words that are completely not inherent in him due to his inherent character traits, tact, upbringing, education …, resenting the failure to fulfill our contrived ones. Try to look at everything objectively, not imagining what is not.
The same situation has different effects on different people. The point is not at all who said and did what, but how we reacted, how we perceived the information. Calm perception without irritation is just a matter of everyday “training”. And, in fact, we ourselves make the decision to be offended. As they often say: “Take offense at yourself …”. In difficult situations, repeat to yourself: “I love myself and I will not offend.”
And when you want to be offended again, think: is it really so nice to feel sorry for yourself and feel like a victim. The predator always senses the weak and attacks him. You don’t want to be eaten! Maybe you are still a winner who has risen above the situation and is independent of the circumstances! It is not for nothing that the people say: “They carry water to the offended.” I don’t really want to, right?
As you know, offense is a state of our soul. The soul is the well from which we drink. What source of thirst quenching are we giving ourselves and others? Take care of your storage, your source of life. Live with a smile without being offended!